Weirdest object you ever fucked?

WieselFlink said:
I fucked a clamp lamp with a thin stalk, wrapped in handkerchiefs, wrapped in a condom
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Inventive, I know those moments when "there has to be a dick shaped object atleast somewhere around here".

Oh and this just in, I fucked a hole in the wall at a pool underwater.
 
I knew I couldn't be the only one that's ever tried this at home. LOL
 
I love that someone above rated my post explaining the most common dick jacking technique as useful, did this method simply not occur to them before as they went through life drilling holes and fucking various melons, or maybe the vacuum cleaner hose. Or maybe they placed their palms on their junk and hit it Indian burn style. Oh well, glad to help either way.
BTW I just knew the first time I jacked off that I was gonna love pussy.
 
wrkrsunite said:
I love that someone above rated my post explaining the most common dick jacking technique as useful, did this method simply not occur to them before as they went through life drilling holes and fucking various melons, or maybe the vacuum cleaner hose. Or maybe they placed their palms on their junk and hit it Indian burn style. Oh well, glad to help either way.
BTW I just knew the first time I jacked off that I was gonna love pussy.
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The first time I jerked off I burst out laughing after I came. ::hilarious::

I thought the splooge was hilarious. for some reason.
 
My first time I literally remember thinking, well this is prolly gonna occupy a lot of my time in the future. Haha occupy, my penis is the 1%.
 
If there is a market for dirty kid cum I want to be the bottler/distributor.

...and for all of you who think I'm a capitalist pig don't worry, we'll run it in co-op fashion;)
 
My ex girlfriend had this Disney Mulan Dragon Doll and for sum sick twisted (its a kids toy) reason it had a plush anus stitched into it. But it didn't feel good so I ended up stopping and waiting for her to come home. I was 18 at the time so don't judge me!
 
I do camming and porn, or well I did anyway, well porn I still do for fun and the former I just haven't done in a while.

Okay, so because camming.

During one of (or few) of my sessions I had a big foam baseball bat and also a light saber.

So, dancing, on my knees, with the bat in my mouth and the light saber in my butt, both propped in a way where I was hands free.

I am not sure if that is my strangest, but it probably could have killed me if I had messed up at any point. So that's what I am swinging with.
 
ChezaRose said:
I do camming and porn, or well I did anyway, well porn I still do for fun and the former I just haven't done in a while.

Okay, so because camming.

During one of (or few) of my sessions I had a big foam baseball bat and also a light saber.

So, dancing, on my knees, with the bat in my mouth and the light saber in my butt, both propped in a way where I was hands free.

I am not sure if that is my strangest, but it probably could have killed me if I had messed up at any point. So that's what I am swinging with.
Click to expand...

A lightsaber? I think you just became my personal hero. That's taking it in the dark side!
 
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