MishMish

I tried very hard to just be a normal all American girl which is already not possible when you're from a mixed immigrant family and your male parent should have been a prize fighter in Asia Minor or somewhere....whatever....little did I know I had been inoculated with cuttle fish DNA from the time of my premature birth....yet, in a way, I always knew. I always knew I wasn't quite like the others. The gifted classes. Swimming lessons. Girl scouts...I had it all. Then at age 10 or so, we experienced the D.A.R.E. program, to prevent us from enjoying drug usage, and it was as though a fuse was lit in my brain....and I lit up. Up...I wanted it all...all...all. I did. I was scared. But I wanted it all. I was a loner and a stoner and the only person I knew listening to vinyl records and touching themselves while watching anime films involving girls with fantastic hair colors....But no! No! Fuck Middleschool....no one wanted to start a revolution. Yearbook staff taught me how to scam and falsify and minoritize in proportionate ways to maintain political balance...I made art no one liked. Then my dad died and I smoked cigarettes and stared at the moon. Then I smoked Hella Crack and still passed my AP exam. Then I stopped...and I haven't since 19. Without NA! Mwhahahhahhahahahhah...How can it be anonymous if I have to repeat my name over and over and over? What? Hi, I'm person X and I will permanently yoke myself to this undesireable behavior pattern....I mean its great, but so are certain narcotics if you take your vitamins and make prayers to the patron deity of whatever province they were grown in...I mean you should know if possible where it came from. That sounds nice anyways.....

What the fuck? I'm rambling? Dammniiit...It's South Florida and I'm Half Germanic...do you know horrible of a combination that can be? Half German and in a tropic zone? Ugh. That's a dangerous trip....everyones crazy here cuz the sun rots our brains....that it does...yes. I need to get away....