Experiences with adult sex assault victims?

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My current long staying situation has my placed with an apartment full of traumatized people. Non-sexual child abuse I'm use to. Sexual abuse I'm not so well versed on. I can tell one person is just not right when it comes to sexual stuff. I'm not saying they are abusive but after some research it's clear that the person in question has been sexual abused.

People have shared their rape stories with me, so I'm use to more outward displays of trauma. This person is a case I had to figure out, though. They are always surrounding themselves with people while claiming to be an introvert. They practice risky sexual behavior. Has sex addiction. They speak openly about their consensual sexual activities, but I've noticed a harsh reaction when I mention personal relations with rape and sexual assault. At the same time, they have a loose sense of boundaries, but at the sametime mindful to a degree. At the same time, they are ok with being graphic and non-sexual violence.

Adult sex abuse survivors are very ignored and written off as self and annoying. That's how I was originally going to write this person off, but someone else suggested I consider the factors to this behavior. I will continue to observe this person (and the others), but without much to say.

In the meantime, I started this thread for a reason. Does anyone else have any experience with adult sexual assault victims or survivors? ::nurse::
 
voodoochile76 said:
there is a ptsd clinic in arizona which uses mdma to help survivors.
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That sounds like a very, very extreme form of care. I'd be worried about patients forming a dependency on MDMA in order to regain their natural behaviors. Very interesting though.. have any more info on that?
 
MarsOrScars said:
That sounds like a very, very extreme form of care. I'd be worried about patients forming a dependency on MDMA in order to regain their natural behaviors. Very interesting though.. have any more info on that?
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i can't point you to any articles that you couldn't come up with on a google search, but i have read a few articles recently about how MDMA is being touted by some scientists as a 'miracle cure' for depression. i wanna say it was in WIRED, but i honestly can't recall.

similar to how doing mushrooms or LSD semi-permanently opens some personalities up to being more 'open-minded', they're basically saying that MDMA can 'reset' dopamine levels in the brain for those that don't have enough or too little (can't remember which).
 
Matt Derrick said:
similar to how doing mushrooms or LSD semi-permanently opens some personalities up to being more 'open-minded', they're basically saying that MDMA can 'reset' dopamine levels in the brain for those that don't have enough or too little (can't remember which).
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I'll try to contribute any findings from research when I'm up all night tonight, lol. Otherwise, I guess that makes sense in a sort of sledge hammer + glass window way. Shock the brain with a huge dopamine rush as a sort of reset.

And yea, there are a lot of "ego-killing" effects I've seen and even experienced first hand from DMT. Yet to do shrooms or LSD....
 
abuse is often a perpetuated thing..

i dunno how trauma leaves its signature with any given person, *but*..

yer not allowed to do to others what happened to you..

on the other hand, as so often happens here, you can't just tell us about somebody & expect feedback that's going to allow you to do very much more that cherry-pick whatever makes sense to you..

it's good yer not just "writing somebody off", but what you need to determine, in your own personal assessment, as regards them to you, in the absence (apparently) of any other evidence, & in reference to nothing other than feelings alone, is "are they a danger to you?"

sounds like you want to make a judgment call, & that is entirely fair.. people need to make them not merely to survive, but to just get by, also.. but the calls need to be at least reasonably fair, too..

that being said, sometimes people try to beat their fears by doing the very things they are most afraid of..

the thing that hurt them is always so much in front of them that they continually attack it..

the memory of shit of what you hated, or which was so incredibly unfair & so bad that it never leaves you
is enough to drive one to things worse than irrationality..

often those whom are abused never receive the opportunity to learn what is more important than their abuse..

being victimized, after all, is about having little power..

i hope they do ok..

PTSD is sometimes about fighting a war..

it is one of those fucking wars, though, that you can only win by giving up & grieving for what is dead.


time is the end of everything.


you can't change the past.. only look at it.

only try & figure out "why?"

& how no to move the same violations forward...

& *then*?

yah.. you can fucking win...
 
there were various forms of adult therapy using MDMA trialed in the US in the early "80's i believe - one example being Marriage Guidance type organisations who wanted to use it to put the spark back in peoples relationships..... it was also considered for use in therapy for more serious conditions including people who had suffered sexual abuse..... in the end it was decided MDMA had too many side effects to be used clinically... shame really because in the right situation Ecstasy totally banishes fear making it much easier for people to be open / honest with themselves and other people... wish i could remember the source of this information, it was possibly from E For Ecstasy by Nicholas Saunders...
 
I dated a girl once who I came to find out had been violently raped as an adult.

There were some signs she had been traumatized. But she didn't tell me much and I didn't know the extent. I found out, the second time we were having sex, when I flipped her over to change positions. Evidently the sudden movement gave her flashbacks. She ran screaming no no no, scrambled straight off the bed and huddled into the corner like an animal, looking at me with eyes more terrified than any other I've seen. That all took place in the span of about two seconds.

She came out of it. I apologized. She said I didn't need to, it happens to her. She was well put together and sane but obviously not separated from the trauma.

So that is my experience.
 
the navajos have something awesome called Enemy Way/Night Way. They use it for returning war vets and others. You pay the medicine man and he does his thing. I dont see why they wouldnt work on non-Navajos as well.
 
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Yeah, I know several people who've had luck with EMDR and progressive-counting for overcoming flashbacks & ptsd effects.
http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/emdr-what-is-it

But honestly? More than any drug or specific therapy? I think it's important just to have people present who are conscious about how much this shit is woven into our culture. I mean, these days, unless otherwise specified, I just assume that anyone I meet may have survived some insane shit, I mean really, it's mad common. And while I've had a few people in my life get violent/abusive with me, I feel more effected just by how commonly I hear people joking and defending abusers in general, or even the creepy/objectifying way people talk about consensual sex, it gets to people, you know?
 
I will admit that I'm traumatized as well. I just took mine the opposite direction which makes me repel sexual activity with other people. I wasn't directly abused, but I saw sex being used as a weapon. ::sorry::
 
I rarely (probably twice before this) talk about this. I went through a rape as a mid teen. It was something that ruined the nurse fetish thing for me. Before that, pre-teen (12, almost a teen), went through a 2 year physically, emotionally, and psychologically abusive relationship, being gaslit into believing everything the person did was love. It took me years to undo that, and sometimes still have moments of questioning things. Some scents, objects, or actions still make my body react in fight or flight. Unexpectedly finding a wire hanger, or smelling a honey dipped cigarette, or matches being lit, are just a few examples of what can either ruin a perfectly good day, or result in me having a switch.

Aside from a number of issue streaming from those experiences, I am very open with sexuality, to the point of having done pro-dom work for years, and participate in the kink community wherever I can. Just have limits.
 
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