Home Depot battle royale. What 3 weapons do you choose?

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Dustin

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So you are chosen to compete against 9 other people. All ten of you are locked in a standard Home Depot, that is dark except the emergency lights above the exits. The goal is to kill one another to become the last man standing, last person alive gets to leave.

You are allowed to choose 3 pieces of equipment to aid you. Anything with a bar-code counts as one piece of equipment, for example, if you choose a nail gun, then a container of nails will be needed, so that would equal two pieces of equipment. You can use only the equipment you choose, no scalping from dead guys.

What three weapons would you choose, and what would be your strategy?
 
Well, as someone who used to work at Home Depot, I'd grab a good axe, any highly flammable spray can, and a barbeque lighter. Then I'd go to the "secret spot" (every THD has at least one) and wait.
 
box of this > OOK 18 Gauge Steel Galvanized Wire 100 Ft. 1 Roll - 50138 at The Home Depot
combined with a box of this > Crown Bolt 1/4 In. Nut Hex Coarse Thread, Hot Dipped Galvanized - 07540 at The Home Depot

to make lots of these > http://www.wilderness-survival.net/figures/fig12-7.gif

the thin gauge of the wire weighted with several nuts on either end of varying lengths of wire could sever a head or limb or alternatively crack skulls or break ribs

and in my defense the lid off this this > Behrens 31-Gallon Steel Trash Can - 1270 at The Home Depot

Your all fucked
 
I would get a gallon of paint stripper... a garden sprayer.. and a utility knife....

a utility knife is probably the fastest thing to bleed someone out.... If anyone's ever had paint stripper come in contact with any point on their body.. you'd realize that it has an instant horrific burn.... I'd aim for the eyes.... anyone chasing me with a melee weapon would get a facefull of stripper as I retreated...then snick snick.. there goes the arteries in the inguinal canal or juggular. one advantage is that I can run fullspeed with this weapon set. I'd probably hide by the free coffee machine... because chances are a few people will stop by.
 
Yea wheres the free coffee in homedepot?
But if I saw steaming coffee I would probably go for a cup - after I incapacitated everything that moved down an isle with my deadly throwing devices.
Nothing like a hot cupojoe after a slaughter!
The only drawback to my primary weapon is the chance to tangle hanging from my belt - making retreat 100% not an option as they would hopelessly tangle leaving me with a steel grass skirt and a trash can lid to beat people to death with, trash can lid for close quarters combat and bolas for distance lethality FTW!

You could alwase drop a toilet or water heater on my head from the top shelves though . . .
 
yep.. free coffe machine... it's always by the lumber department. one other thing.. the stripper is quite possibly the sllipperiest substance known to man.. if you set one foot on it.. you will instantly be on your ass.. even if you know to step carefully, which.. nobody else will.. set up a few slick spots.. and pounce with the utility knife.
 
ohhhh my non-existant GAWD! where the hell is this? free coffee is like... i dunno man. id prolly get really sick from drinking too much.
 
ooooooh i used to work there too, at first thought i'd grab the biggest can of wasp/hornet spray for gettin ya in the eyes, a battery-powered skil saw, and a 50-pack of circular blades to throw down from the top shelves at my assailants

isnt that what the medieval nights carried?

our THD had a hot dog stand out front so i'd probably grab the hot dog stand and use one of the forklifts to lift it up into the top racks and grill some hot dogs while i waited.
 
Yea a forklift is a variable open air tank - provided you can drive the thing at full speed without running into shit and killin your self, there easier to drive in reverse but the back side is less lethal to peds . . .
 
Go to the Pro Desk. Most of the time, it's just sitting out for contractors. If not, say you're working with a contractor and they'll hook you up. Most dirty kids could pull off the look of a laborer, I feel.

If we get machinery involved, I'd just get a few sheets of plywood grab the Reach and make a tank.
 
one of those john deere mowers that go about thirty a one of those giant jobsite fans minus the metal cover so i could mince you fools in fully suspended luxery, and some chewing gum from the front counter. nothing runs like a crusty kid from a giant fucking fan. nothing.
 
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and a box of ceramic tile.

I'd open up all the valves for the propane powered forklifts to rob my enemies of assault vehicles and smash up the batteries for the others. Then I'd climb the shelving units and wait, ready to push pallets of loose lumber and other materials down on the unsuspecting. As numbers dwindle I'd venture down and finish the rest off by hurling ceramic tiles at people like frisbys to wound them and finish them off with the hammer. The respirator mask is a defense tool to mitigate the various chemical weapons available in a home depot such as the spray weapons mentioned above.
 

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If this were in my old store, I'd just go to the lumber department and hang out with those guys. They were pretty intense people with lots of fighting ability.
 
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seen this is four other forums this week.

I would sneak in ahead of time, and pop a couple breathing holes into this GE 14.8 cu. ft. Chest Freezer - FCM15PUWW at The Home Depot. sure this is cheating, but this is a dirty game anyhow. sometimes you have to cheat to win.

I would also modify it to lock from within, and hide out there until you fools all die. whoever is left, will get this when i spring from my freezer View attachment 51545

who said all is fair in war?
 

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