One-man Anarchist Wrecking Crew (1 Viewer)

blue ant

Wanderer
Joined
Jul 8, 2017
Messages
49
Age
23
Location
Phoenix, AZ
By the edge of the New Orleans French Quarter, there's a pair of abandoned buildings built next to each other. One is a small two-story business building; the other a pretty sizable shop floor. Both, as one would expect, had their windows boarded and their doors locked with iron gates.

That day, it was raining; it had stormed the night prior, soaking me and my gear, so I was desperate for a roof over my head so I could dry out. Searching for a squat, I noticed a gate left wide open in the business building, and ducked inside. The place was obviously condemned, so I could ignore the obvious gins of habitation. I slept (poorly) on the second floor that night.

The next morning, I packed up and started down the stairs, only to find that the door to the bottom floor was locked. I tried to pick the lock, failed, then shoved all of my gear through a tiny window in the wall between the stairs and the first floor, only to find out that the door that had been left wide open and the gate behind it had also been locked. I was quite thoroughly locked in.

Unwilling to give into despair quite yet, I searched for an escape route. Seeing a filthy hole in the stone wall at the back of the room, I climbed into the darkness, figuring I might as well, to find myself on the shop floor. I noticed two possible exits: one, a large hole in the wall, high above. I figured I could climb up the rot-exposed studs and beams in the walls and ceiling, and I did, until my supports collapsed and I ate shit, also destroying my way out in the process.

So, I turned to the other escape route: a tiny crack in the wall, maybe just big enough for me to squeeze my body through, if not my pack. I tried, but it wasn't nearly wide enough, and right next to it was a set of black iron bars covering a large window.

But then I realized something:

I couldn't breach the gate, but its frame was practically tissue paper. It would be easier to just make a new door.

So, I did.

I pulled out my trusty KA-BAR and started hacking away at the rotten wood of the door frame. Slowly, I scraped away at the studs in the wall, until I wedged a large wooden beam I found into the crack in the wall to pry the door open. The black iron bars came crashing to the ground in a cloud of splinters and dust. I checked the street outside, made sure nobody was around, then sprinted away, the world's biggest smile on my face.

You know why I was smiling?

Because, as they say, when God locks a door, he opens a window.

Plus I knew it would be a great story.
 
Click here to buy the Anarchist's Guide to Travel!

nobrains

Wanderer
Joined
Aug 2, 2014
Messages
55
Location
Owasso, United States
Website
www.vilecultofshapes.blogspot.com
Funny, last time I was in NOLA I was using doors & windows for walls. Left for a week, came back, and my crazy neighbor had raided my shack, pulling off tons of structure wood for his own junk fortress! I chewed him out, got my wood back, and put it back together. Made a sky light using a salvaged storm window. Fuck I miss that squat.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

About us

  • Squat the Planet is the world's largest social network for misfit travelers. Join our community of do-it-yourself nomads and learn how to explore the world by any means necessary.

    More Info

Support StP!

Donations go towards paying our monthly server fees, adding new features to the website, and occasionally putting a burrito in Matt's mouth.

Total amount
$60.00
Goal
$100.00

Monthly Goals

  1. Paying the Bills
    $50.00 of $50.00 - reached!
    The first $50 in donations go towards paying our monthly server fees and adding new features to the website. Once this goal is reached, we'll see about feeding Matt that burrito.
  2. Buy Matt a Beer
    $60.00 of $75.00
    Now that we have the bills paid for this month, let's give Matt a hearty thank you by buying him a drink for all the hard work he's done for StP. Hopefully his will help keep him from going insane after a long day of squishing website bugs.
  3. Feed Matt a Burrito
    $60.00 of $100.00
    Now that the bills are paid and Matt has a beer in his hand, how about showing him your love by rewarding all his hard work with a big fat burrito to put in his mouth. This will keep him alive while programming new features for the website.
  4. Finance the Shopping Cart
    $60.00 of $200.00
    Now that the bills are paid and Matt is fed, perhaps it's time to start planning for those twilight years under the bridge... if only he had that golden shopping cart all the oogles are bragging about these days.