Weapons of (upper) class destruction

Arming Sword and shield, with a Mosin Nagant slung over my back and a seax or other dagger in my belt, by virtue of these being the only weapons I know how to fight with effectively.
 
Melee: Finger fresh from my belly button.
Sidearm: A rubber chicken with squeak capability.
Main: Dog poop on a Tiki torch pole.
 
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