Chicago Hot Dog Boner (Horrible Gaffe of Heinz)

Joe Btfsplk

Joe Btfsplk

New member
Matt:

Don't know if this post belongs here, move it at your want. The post is mainly for EphemeralStick, he'll enjoy it.

Also, I would like to send him a private email and not clutter up StP. I want to know if he would be interested in surprising the Slab
City clan; I have an idea of how to wow the crowd. It does not involve anything nefarious or sexual. If you want, I can share it with you privately and you be the judge. Just don't be a yenta and gossip this around the neighborhood. Keep it low, off the radar. I have no idea of how to contact him via email; he is hidden.

He might be game for this idea. I know he is busy in LA, perhaps he will stop at the Slabs during the year? The 2019 Jambo? that would be ideal but let's see how it goes.

Anyway, here you go Andy:

"For National Hot Dog Day on July 19, 2017, Heinz created controversy by introducing ketchup, labeled as "Chicago Dog Sauce", to the disdain of many Chicagoans — but their effort also unearthed a minority of ketchup aficionados in the city."

This is a sacrilege; atrocious. Amen.
 
If you wanna send Andy a message just click his profile and there's a "send message" button, ya can't miss it.
 
KETCHUP ON A HOTDOG?
LIGHT THE FIRES! SIGNAL THE ARMIES!

Also I'll send ya a PM lol.

(To anyone interested a Chicago Style hot dog consists of; one hot dog, MUSTARD, relish, diced onion, sliced tomato, a pickle spear, sport peppers, celery salt, all on a poppy seed bun)
 
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Juan Derlust said:
the only way to gobble anything resembling that part of my anatomy
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It's time to hose down and give that hog a scrubbing if yer using ketchup to mask the taste of hot dog dick. Nobody likes a hot dog dick.
 
EphemeralStick said:
KETCHUP ON A HOTDOG?
LIGHT THE FIRES! SIGNAL THE ARMIES!

Also I'll send ya a PM lol.

(To anyone interested a Chicago Style hot dog consists of; one hot dog, MUSTARD, relish, diced onion, sliced tomato, a pickle spear, sport peppers, celery salt, all on a poppy seed bun)
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See now only the city that makes lasagna and calls it pizza would think it's a good idea to put a tomato on a hot dog. Hot dogs should be nearly burned with the consistency of old leather like the Marlboro man's chapped weather beaten butt cheeks and covered in chili with or without beans and topped with whatever kind of cheese you like.
 
@SlankyLanky Hey now sir!!! Thems fightin' words!

I don't know if you've heard but I AM a weiner affecionado. I desire more from my dog than the taste of burnt charcoal and ash that's been slathered with a can of dollar store drippings.

We Chicagoans take pride in our sodium rich, overly complicated delicacies. If it ain't filling you with more toppings than you can remember it ain't worth eatin.
 
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Juan Derlust said:
A little clarification: I was going with Ephemeral's Chicago Dog mashup - ketchup on wiener is heretical
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I agree. And ketchup is made from tomatoes so anybody who puts a slice of that gross slimy thing on a hot dog is a savage. I would rather lick the inside of a home bums back pocket then eat a tomato.
 
@SlankyLanky tomatoes are by far the least gross thing I could think of to put in ones mouth. Especially where weiners are concerned.

I could go into detail buuuuut I'll spare the rest of the user base.
 
EphemeralStick said:
To anyone interested a Chicago Style hot dog consists of; one hot dog, MUSTARD, relish, diced onion, sliced tomato, a pickle spear, sport peppers, celery salt, all on a poppy seed bun
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best. thread. ever.

i'll tell you what, i had serious doubts when anna handed me my first chicago dog, i mean with all those weird ingredients, i was pretty doubtful it would be any good. but, once i put that hot dog dick in my mouth, i was fucking hooked; im definitely a fan of the chitown dog now.
 
Matt Derrick said:
best. thread. ever.

i'll tell you what, i had serious doubts when anna handed me my first chicago dog, i mean with all those weird ingredients, i was pretty doubtful it would be any good. but, once i put that hot dog dick in my mouth, i was fucking hooked; im definitely a fan of the chitown dog now.
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It's gotta be partly my utter disgust for tomatoes that's the deal breaker for me because everything else sounds alright.
 
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