when did you realize you weren't normal?

When I was grade school age, I was bullied by most of the other kids in my neighborhood. All that time I was always trying to fit in and be part of the group, but for reasons I don't know, I was never accepted by them. In 6th grade I moved away across the state, and there weren't as many bullys in my new middle school. The change of perspective gave me some insights, and I ended up with an important understanding (for me anyway) which is that for various reasons, and our brainwashing culture, I'm probably going to be judged by most "normal" people that I meet, and if that's the case then I may as well say fuck their opinions and do whatever I want!

So I started doing that, and just exploring different interests, and at this point in 11th grade, I can proudly say that in school and real life, I am very obviously weird, crazy, but most importantly, I don't give a fuck that that's what all the plastic people think.
 
I guess I always knew it just never occurred to me that I should go with it instead of trying to someone I'm not i.e. everyone else
 
Great topic for discussion! My childhood was unusual. As a kid I spent a lot of time with hustlers, degenerates, gangs, etc. I turned out pretty darn good considering, but I have that degenerate streak and sometimes use it to my advantage against normies when I'm in the mood. Nothing too terrible though. I guess by the time I was in high school I realized I wasn't like most people. I've been going my own way since then. From time to time I get caught thinking I can be like others and fit in, etc. In certain ways I can, but in other ways my worldview just doesn't line up like most people.
 
When i tried commit suicide . It sounds awful but it gave one thing to think about. WHY DO I FEEL SO SHITTY ? Then my crusty friend took me for a hitchiking trough Poland . It gave me new idea for life . Helped me crawl out from depression . Some people just need freedom to live . Im one of them.
 
I never really fit in, but didn't think I was abnormal in a good or bad way either. I thought I was just missing some thing that everyone else seemed to naturally have and as a much younger child, this didn't bother me. As I entered the later grades of elementary school and middle school, I realized that wasn't acceptable. Other students and even teachers kept pressuring me to be different. I was forced to make friends and wasn't allowed to observe like I usually did. I tried very, very hard to fit in from this point on. I wasn't happy and just thought that was life. Interacting with people I didn't relate to and doing things I didn't enjoy.. Just life as a whole.

By Junior High, I was very depressed then I met my first non conformant friend. He was sitting in science class wearing a attention grabbing tie dye shirt in a sea of Hollister and American Eagle and he just seemed so happy. Like unnaturally happy. I was instantly hooked on his energy. We became inseparable and he showed me a whole new way of life. He wasn't a traveler or anything but he viewed life differently than anyone else I had ever met. He did what he did to be happy, not to please others, not to appear normal, his goal was happiness and that really let me come out of the mold I was trying so hard to fit in. He showed me that happy and normal were not always compatible and I'm forever grateful for that lesson. That was 10+ years ago and I haven't looked back since!
 
Always been different. Conformity feels inherently wrong. Were all unique, but trained to conform from the start so were controllable cattle. Our societal systems were created for this purpose, so that the few in power could maintain dominion for thier own personal gain. If thier not getting anything out of you, your cast aside. Hence why the poor are treated so shitty and revolutionaries always end up dead.
 
I've recently
wISDOM said:
Always been different. Conformity feels inherently wrong. Were all unique, but trained to conform from the start so were controllable cattle. Our societal systems were created for this purpose, so that the few in power could maintain dominion for thier own personal gain. If thier not getting anything out of you, your cast aside. Hence why the poor are treated so shitty and revolutionaries always end up dead.
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I understand where you are coming from. There's lots of power games going on in the world. Having said that, I've recently changed my worldview in this regard. I read a book not too long ago that hit really close to home and forced me to take a painfully honest look at myself. I would be bullshitting myself if I said I'm a different person now, but I can honestly admit to myself now, that my view of the world was warped primarily by my terrible upbringing. My parents didn't have the understanding at the time, nor do they even have it to this day, so I can't blame them. It sure would have been great if I had learned some of these valuable lessons from emotionally mature adults when I was younger, instead of feeling like I'm having to play catch up now that I am older. I guess too many people go their entire lives not learning enough about themselves to really feel they are worthy enough to make a difference in the world at all. So I am thankful for suffering less and feeling like I finally have a purpose in the world instead of just drifting around, lost at sea.

If anybody cares, the book is called No More Mr. Nice Guy from Dr. Robert Glover. As a man, this book has been an incredible eye opener for me. Again, I'm not a different person. But I realize what I have been missing out on and I am optimistic about finally finding a purpose and going through life with real confidence and belief in myself instead of pointing the finger at others and feeling sorry for myself. Please understand that I am only talking about myself here. I'm not making any sweeping judgements about anyone in the post. Hell, we don't even know each other, so I really couldn't do that anyway. However, I do suspect that some guys on STP could benefit from this information should they feel they need to change something about themselves, but maybe can't quite put a finger on it.
 
Right about when I discovered most other people were assholes..

Kindergarten or thereabouts?
 
Im not saying that our lives are someting that's beyond our control, But the fact still remains that what I stated is true. Any common knoledge of history proves it as so. Where I am right now, what direction I go, are my choices. The fact that I choose is what makes me different.
 
wISDOM said:
Im not saying that our lives are someting that's beyond our control, But the fact still remains that what I stated is true. Any common knoledge of history proves it as so. Where I am right now, what direction I go, are my choices. The fact that I choose is what makes me different.
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I agree. There are people with a purpose, and then there are people who have no purpose of their own and instead fulfill the purpose of others. Just because there are people with nefarious purposes in the world doesn't mean I can't pursue a purpose which is contrary to those people, regardless of how powerful they are. I could throw my hands up and say those people are too powerful, they control the schools, the media, and there is nothing I can do. Or I can make a conscious choice to define my own purpose in life and focus on what I can do to build myself and others up, or I can difuse my power by worrying about the misguided and controlling efforts of others. Personally I don't have time to do both.
 
I don't think there is such a thing as normal. The only difference is that some people are able to hide there character defects better than others. What some might define as flaws or character defects might might be admirable to others. Safe travel's friend.
 
After reading a book on introversion about 7 years ago.
Up until that point I hated myself because I thought there was something "wrong" with me. What seemed to be everyone else around me enjoying shit like going out to clubs, cold approaching women, enjoying the spotlight, having superficial conversations about crap on tv and doing it all for hours on end. I was always looking for a fix to my non-existant problem.
Realizing that my brain works pretty well opposite of what I had been trying to conform to was... fucking earthshattering!
So yeah, I'm not normal and goddamn happy to be aware that! Woot!
 
good topic...lets see my alcoholic dad told me that i was crazy a lot when i was a child so i believed him...and in social situations like school etc..always seemed to have gotten more extreme reactions from people than anything anywhere in the middle...so oscillating between bullying and harassment to extremely warm welcoming and sincere interest with compliments about the way i think and put things together....seems like a lot of people often had something to say to me or about me that was as positive or as negative as you can imagine...so i have a long history of continuously realizing that i am "different"
 
I used to believe in normal, but after almost dying from a drug overdose and getting off the bullshit pills that doctors forced on me because I'm diagnosed labeled or whatever as "bipolar autistic", I realized that there's no such thing as "normal". It's just a bunch of make believe fairytale bullshit created by people afraid to embrace individuality or the fact that everyone is different in some way, shape, or form. I've never been normal, I never will be, and I don't give a damn. If "normal" people don't have even the slightest will to be weird, then they're not worth your time. I'm not perfect, either, but I'm willing to admit my flaws, mistakes, and fuck ups and evolve along the way.
 
Nothing really particular stood out to me growing up, I guess....
I'm still in a mentality that I can get along with pretty much anyone and that everyone can come together in some way, shape or form...but I was proven wrong when I moved into an apartment with 3 random chicks this past year at college. They seemed chill enough, but then this thing happened that made me realize just how different we were.

There's a town in Australia called Rockhampton that's the Beef Capital of Australia. They have 6 or 7 bull statues around town, complete with the horns and the balls and everything. Now a favorite pasttime of folks in Rockhampton was to saw off and steal the giant balls off of these giant bull statues. And so the city had to go around and replace the balls and reinforce them with metal beams! I thought, that's freaking hilarious! So while I was there, I climbed one of the statues with someone I was hanging with from Tinder.

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And I even got a close up of the balls! On film!

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So flash to the apartment in Miami...one night we were hanging around talking about different kinds of animals, when the difference between bulls and cows came up. I ran into my room to retreive the bull ball photo and came back to tell the story of Rockhampton! Everyone kind of laughed and then the conversation went elsewhere. Oh well.

I put the bull ball photo on the coffee table as an interesting centerpiece and eventually we all disbanded and went to bed.

When I woke up in the morning, the bull ball photo was FLIPPED OVER. Someone had been SO OFFENDED by the photo of BALLS ON A STATUE OF A BULL that they FLIPPED IT OVER. That's when I realized....just how different we were.....and I realized there really are two types of people in the world....those who would flip over a picture of bull balls and those who would frame the photo and hang it for all to see. And I was living in the former.....................
 

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