Why don't you have sex?

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otch0z said:
That is well said and that would be my reason too... I have had very little experiences that were actually good with sex and relationships, be it sexual or emotional, so I developed strong boundaries that don't allow people "in" (in both ways huehuehue). Now I crave for affection but any attempt by someone to be anything more than friends is seen like a threat. To me it's too dangerous, and I wish I could go beyond these traumas but I'm kinda stuck by the part of me who's in charge of defending me and who got a little paranoid.
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sorry for replying to this literally 5+ years later, but damn do i identify with this. it's made me afraid to even touch anyone (with prior consent of course) in fear of them freaking out. instead of like, 'no thanks, im not intersted' (which i can handle) it's 'ewww' or 'but you're so old' (she was literally four years younger than me) or one time, after hooking up with someone they emailed me to say that if i told anyone they would literally tell everyone i raped them. that just devastated me emotionally. it's been really difficult to open up to anyone since.
 
Wawa said:
I'm asexual because I.... don't feel like doing otherwise?

Masturbation is great. Cool thread.
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Intimacy is not measured in physical relations, but in the love you feel for that person or people. I'm happily married and sex is part of our life together, but isn't an integral portion of our marriage. I'm demi-pan- sexual and my partner is non-binary and polyamorous yet we have a healthy monogamous relationship. Sex feel nice, but after trauma and life happens I much prefer it being with my committed partner whom I trust.
 
honestly every time i was in a relationship i just felt trapped. and not even at all that way — these were all very openminded, naturally promiscuous, intelligent women with a high level of confidence and emotional independence — but in the way that you (esp men) will often feel obligated to carry on with the persona you initially used to initiate the exchange, to keep the ball rolling so to speak. and this becomes exhausting after a little while, particularly because you begin to miss having more time and energy to engage completely and with undivided attention in other things. the responsibility, in other words, that you owe to the individual becomes somewhat burdensome and slowly over time you become more irritable towards the person for no particular reason that you can put your finger on.

and on the flipside sex really isnt very pleasurable compared to a host of other activities. the euphoric rush of endorphins when exercising, or listening to music, just for example. its just a whole lot of effort for an underwhelming tactile sensation. and when you fall out of love with what is in essence a delusion, this liminal chemical stasis we refer to as such, all of that becomes clear. intercourse is really only relevant in the context of love.. which is just a form of dependency — and quite often, of insanity.

so ill experience the sensation of desire, and regularly. but am well enough acquainted by now with these things to know that there are many other more productive vocations to put time and energy into. and minutes later ive forgotten all about it.
 
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